Most days I am a glass half full person but even I struggle with bad days and discouraging thoughts. The days where you are focusing more on your short comings than strengths. The days you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and your mind is full of doubts. This week has been full of days like this for me. I have been praying to God, or maybe more like complaining to him. I’ve been asking him a lot of ‘why’ questions this week. Like why didn’t you make me good at ____ and ____? (Lol, for pride sake I will not fill in the blanks.) I was clearly having a little pity party for myself sending him an invitation to join me. As I was whining I had this sweet thought that came to me, that I believe came from him. You are good at not giving up that is your best gift! It was at that point I shut up and stopped feeling sorry for myself and remembered an important lesson I was taught when I was a teenager.
In my school when you took a test you could not pass unless you received an 80% or higher. If you did not get that grade you would have to go back and redo materials that you leaned then take the test over. I struggled in school and Algebra was my biggest enemy. I was sitting alone in a room stuck on a math test that I was taking for my third time. I was so frustrated, stressed, and thoughts of “I can’t do this” were filling my head. I threw my pencil across the room and yelled out loud “I GIVE UP, THAT IS IT!” I laid my head down and started to cry (The ugly kind of cry). After a while of sitting there covering my test with snot and tears. I heard God say to me “Karen, it’s time to pick up the pencil” It took all of my heart to walk over and pick that thing up and say to myself “I may fail this thing one more time but I will fail it trying. I am not going to give up.” I passed my test that day, not sure if I really did or if my teacher just felt bad for me. This day in my life was not about passing a math test but about not giving up and I get a A+ in that subject. In hard moments or even in weeks like this one I simply say “It’s time to pick up the pencil.” I am thankful for the gift of not giving up, maybe even for Algebra.
My heart reminder for you, my dear friends, is be encouraged. You can do hard things. Just keep reaching and dreaming for a better life. Believe in yourself. You hold so much worth in that heart of yours. Never listen to the voices around you, telling you anything different. You are a bright soul so go out and bravely shine. Don’t you give up! Pick up that pencil one more time and keep trying!